Friday, December 30, 2011

Happy New Year

2012 is almost here, and I hope it turns out to be a squawking good year for everyone. May 2012 bring everyone all the walnuts and seed treats they desire, lots of old books and boxes and papers to shred, a warm comfortable cage to sleep in (with full food dishes) and, most of all, at least one kind person to love and pet you.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Snow and Treats

It looks like more winter has arrived. There’s snow all over the place outside. My person says it’s not much more than a dusting, but the outside sure looks white to me, and that’s a very nerve-wracking situation for a little green parrot such as myself. It’s a good thing I don’t have to go out there. I happy to stay inside and enjoy one of my favorite winter treats—clementines. Yummy. There’s nothing quite so delicious as sucking the sweet juice out of a clementine. The fact that it’s clementine season kind of makes up for the snow and cold outside. Kind of. Also, my person baked gingerbread cookies, and they were delicious, too. Then Trouble was here and I got to eat some of her grapes. All in all, it’s been a good week for treats, so I guess I can’t complain too much.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Visitors in White and Gray

Well, that snow showed up again last night. But it’s December now so I guess it’s all right if the snow wants to start hanging around a bit. There’s not a whole lot of it out there anyhow. I guess it decided to start out small. But you sure won’t see me going outside as long as any of that white stuff’s around. Uh uh. I’m staying safely inside until it’s all nice and green out there again.
Then that gray parrot, Trouble, decided to come for a visit this week. So she’s out there in the living room sitting on top of her cage talking her head off: “Hiya bird! Apple and a grape! Ready for breakfast?” What a show off. Personally, I think a nice simple phrase like “Pretty bird” says it all. That’s all you’ll ever hear ME saying!

Sunday, November 20, 2011


It’s that thankful time of year, with Thanksgiving coming up soon. This year I am thankful that I am a bird, and not just any kind of bird, but a beautiful squawky parrot.
I am thankful that am NOT:
• a turkey, which is a very dangerous sort of bird to be in November
• a dumb robin, so that I don’t have to migrate twice a year but can relax in the comfort of my own cage
• a chickadee, which is a very nice sort of bird but has to spend all winter outside in the cold and snow
• a catbird, because who wants to be named after a predator
I AM thankful that I am a beautiful parrot with pretty green feathers and a melodious squawk!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

This and That

It’s been one of those quiet months so far, and there hasn’t been much out of the ordinary to write about. The walnuts are in their place (my food dish), my person’s been acting pretty nice, I get my treat every afternoon, I haven’t spotted any unusual predators. . . .everything seems to be in place. The only thing is, I’ve pretty much given up nesting for the time being because I’ve been so busy helping my person. She’s gotten a lot of work recently, and of course she counts on me to help her with it. So I have to spend most of the day sitting on her shoulder while she works and that leaves me little time for chewing things up to make a nest. But that’s OK. There will be plenty of time for that later on. So that’s the news from the birdcage for this week.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Of Walnuts and People

OK, so we already know how interesting the opening of the refrigerator door is to me because of the walnuts that are always sitting there on the top shelf winking and smiling at me in such an attractive way as if to say, “Eat us now!” And we know how mean my person can be sometimes, making it difficult for me to get my beak on those tasty little morsels. So the other day she says, “Just because a walnut is there doesn’t mean that you have to eat it.”
Doesn’t mean I have to eat it??? Of course it does. That’s what it’s all about. Sheesh. People can be so clueless.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Rude Snow

My readers are well aware of the fact that I’m no fan of snow. However, I know I have to accept the fact that it spends several months of the year here. OK, so it gets around four months every winter to hang around here and do whatever it wants. You’d think that’d be enough, but that snow has gotten mighty pushy recently and has shown up not once but twice this week. That’s right, twice, and its still only October. The first time it just kind of danced around and teased us a little. That was really rude, but I decided not to pay it any attention. That’s the best way to deal with teasers. But then it decided it had to jump up and down and shout for attention. It made a really noticeable visit last night and now it’s lying all over the ground. I’m sorry, but I just think that’s so rude. I mean, we’re kind enough to let it spend the winter here, so showing up more than a month early seems ungrateful and is just plain bad manners. Well, ha, ha, the joke’s on the snow, because it’s going to get all melted up really quickly. That should teach it to mind its manners!

Monday, October 24, 2011

New Hobby

I’ve recently taken up sculpture. I realized it would be a good use of my chewing talents. Here you see a photo of my latest work. I guess you could call it an altered book. I’m pretty happy with the way it’s turned out, but I have the same problem that so many artists have: How do you know when it’s finished? I’ll probably give it at least a few more chews.

Monday, October 17, 2011


I know I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again: I just don’t get all this migration business. My person says migratory birds are looking for a place to spend the winter that’s warm and has food. If that’s all they’re after, then I have to ask this: Why don’t they just stay in their own cages? After all, a cage is warm and has a full food dish. On top of that, it probably also comes with toys and a person who gives you treats. And it’s right here. You don’t have to fly anywhere to have all this. Why would any bird want to go anywhere else? I just don’t get it.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Autumn Tea Party

I just love tea parties! We had a friend come over last night, and my person served lemon balm tea and pumpkin pie. Mmmm, there’s nothing like a fresh hot cup of tea. I stood on the rim of the tea cup and sipped up little drops of tea. Then I scraped up little pieces of pumpkin pie with my beak. When my crop was full, I settled down on my person’s shoulder and listened to her talk and laugh with her friend. Talking and laughing are such pleasant sounds. I chirped and laughed right along with them. Tea and pie taste so much better when you have guests to share them with, don’t you think?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


One of my readers, Dijon, posted an interesting comment about my recent post on sounds. Despite his being a dog, Dijon often has interesting things to say. In this case, he mentioned that the refrigerator door opening is one of his favorite sounds. I, too, am very interested in the opening of the refrigerator door, mostly because I know there is a bag of walnuts on its top shelf. So when my person opens the refrigerator, I always pay attention. Unfortunately, the opening of the refrigerator door doesn’t always result in my getting walnuts. Sometimes it does, but other times I have to nip my person’s ear to remind her. But even that doesn’t always work. Often my person says, “Just because I open the refrigerator door doesn’t mean you get walnuts.” But then she goes and takes out a treat for herself! People. You can’t live without them, but you can squawk at them.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Parrot Poetry Returns

Tired of Rain
by Shadow
The rain comes down, makes everything wet,
But I’m warm and dry inside my nest.
The rain keeps pouring, can’t go out yet,
So I settle down for a nice long rest.
In here I’m cozy as I can get,
But even so, I like sunny days best.

Monday, September 26, 2011


Do you like sounds? As a professional parrot, I’m quite interested in them. Even though I mention sounds quite frequently in this blog, I thought it would be fun to devote an entire blog post to them since there are always so many interesting ones around. For example, right now I can hear the refrigerator humming and the occasional car whooshing by down on the road. Just a few minutes ago, I was listening to one of my favorite morning sounds—the coffeepot gurgling as it brews fresh coffee. There’s just something so wonderful and watery about that sound that is so attractive to me. Then there are all the different beeps—the microwave oven, the bread machine, the telephone being dialed. I also enjoy the sounds my person makes when she drinks and chews. Of course, I can’t understand why she has to be such a noisy eater and drinker. We parrots eat and drink very quietly. But whatever the reason, the sounds are fun and I make them right along with her. But my favoritest sound of all is the sound of my person getting up in the morning. It is a quiet and gentle sound but portends so much—the cover will come off my cage, my person will be there and, most of all, there will be fresh walnuts in my dish.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Poor Furnace

So the furnace finally came back from vacation, but almost as soon as it got back it started feeling sick. It gave out a few rumbles and whirrs and then lay down and took a nap. My person had to call the furnace doctor. Now, I’m happy to report, the furnace is a feeling a lot better. I wonder how it spent its vacation. It must have been partying hard the whole time, or something, to come back feeling so sick. But it’s not telling. It just hums and whirrs and says it’s too busy heating the house to have time to tell me about it.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Good-bye to Summer

The weather has been quite chilly these past couple of days, so I guess summer is on it’s way out. It’s quite cold in the house, especially at night, but I haven’t heard even one rumble out of the furnace yet. It must still be away on vacation. It sure takes a long summer vacation. I’ll be happy when it comes back, but in the meantime I’ve got my nice fluffy down jacket to keep me warm. So I don’t mind if the furnace stays away for a while longer. My person, on the other hand, doesn’t have her own down jacket. She has to use sweaters and blankets to stay warm. Huh. I’m sure glad I’m a fluffy downy parrot.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


My person and I were very fortunate during hurricane Irene. There was flood water almost all around us, but since we live on a hill, the flood didn’t come anywhere near my cage or my person’s house. I am a little sad, though, because the garden did get flooded and the sunflowers were soaked in mud. My person says it isn’t possible to clean them well enough for me to eat. A whole summer of growing sunflowers wasted! Except for the few my person harvested before the flood, I guess I’ll be eating store-bought treats this winter. On the other hand, I have discovered a new treat from the garden. The other day, my person harvested a lot of hazelnuts, which weren’t hurt by the flood. I sat on her shoulder and watched with interest as she took the nuts out of their shells. The pile of shelled nuts in the bowl grew bigger and bigger. Finally I decided it was time check them out, so I crawled down my person’s arm and waddled over to the bowl and picked up a little white round nut. Right away I realized that it tasted nothing at all like a walnut, so I dropped it and climbed back up to my person’s shoulder. But my person kept paying attention to those nuts, so I thought there must be something in them and that I should give them another try. So I climbed back down to the bowl and picked up another nut and rolled it around and around in my beak. Then I took a bite out of it. It really wasn’t so bad. So I dropped it, picked up another, bit it and dropped it. It tasty rather yummy. So I went on picking up nuts, biting, dropping, until my person got mad at me for taking bites out of all the nuts and put me back in my cage. Well. Just because a parrot doesn’t eat the same way a person a does! We never eat the whole of anything, but just take a bite, drop it, and move on to the next thing. It’s the parrot way. Anyhow, those hazelnuts tasted good and I can’t wait until my person harvests more.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


Here’s something I don’t get about people: They talk about the word “seedy” as if it meant something bad. To my way of thinking, there’s nothing better than finding a nice seedy berry in your food dish in the morning. In fact, one thing that makes summer so great is that there are lovely seedy berries in my food dish every day. I’m glad that at least MY person doesn’t have any prejudices against seediness.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Water Bottle

So the other day I was hanging out in my cage without anything particular to do, and feeling a bit peeved because my person was wandering around the house doing all sorts of fun-sounding things but not paying any attention to ME at all. So I was thinking about what I could do about that when my eye fell on my water bottle. OK, so I know I’m not the first parrot to think of this, but that doesn’t make it any less of a good idea. So I just kind of moseyed over to that side of the cage and gave that bottle a good heft with my beak and, just as I thought, it went clattering to the floor. And on top of that, it broke! What fun! Naturally that brought my person running into the room. She picked up the pieces of the broken bottle, but there the fun ended. She just threw the pieces in the trash and went back about her business. Bo-o-o-r-r-r-ing! But then a little while later she showed up with a new water bottle and started attaching it to my cage. This was a very different water bottle in every way-shape, color, everything was different. As a professional parrot, I can’t let any strange thing get near me without checking it out first for predatory potential. So I spent some time attacking the new water bottle. But then I realized that it was really a rather nice thing after all and that in fact I like it very much. I like it so much that I spend a good part of the day sitting lovingly next to it. Of course, I don’t want to let anybody or anything near it, so naturally I have to attack my person every morning when she tries to fill it with fresh water. “If you keep biting me,” she says, “you won’t get fresh water.” She totally doesn’t get it. It’s not about fresh water, it’s about protecting my territory rights. Sheesh! People can be so dumb sometimes.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

House Painting

Last winter it was remodeling, and now it’s house painting. At least the house painters leave all their scary, predatory-looking equipment outside. But they sure do make noise. Sometimes I’m sitting quietly in my cage just minding my own business (preening, chewing up popsicle sticks, holding my toothbrush, you know, parrot stuff) when I start hearing these strange noises—banging, scraping, swishing, clanging. And then sometimes a face will suddenly appear in the window. You better believe I start squawking when that happens. My person says they’re just painters scraping the old paint off the window frames or applying the new paint, but I don’t know, it sure seems like predatory behavior to me. I don’t know why my person is always letting all these predators hang around the house. It sure keeps me busy trying to protect us.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Question Technology

I understand that our local Borders, along with all the rest of them, is going out of business because everyone is buying ebooks now to read on their Kindles. OK, that is something I totally don’t get. Although I have never personally seen a Kindle, I’ve been around plenty of computers and other electronic devices and I can tell you that despite their often having a few tasty plastic pieces here and there, they don’t make for nearly as good chewing as a nice old-fashioned book does. There’s nothing like chewing your way through a good book and filling up your person’s desk with piles of fluffy white page scraps. Until someone invents a Kindle that can do that, I’m sticking with books.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

How to stay cool on a hot summer day

Raid the walnut stash in the refrigerator.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Lazy Days of Summer

You might imagine that the reason I haven’t posted on this blog for so long is that I have been busy with my new summer job. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Despite my many talents, I haven’t been able to find anyone to hire me. However, there’s still plenty to do around the cage. Mostly I’ve been busy nesting. Also I went away for the weekend to Trouble’s house. That was OK, but I’m happy to be home again. I am also happy to be able to report that the garden is growing well, especially the sunflowers. So I look forward to eating sunflower seeds all winter. This morning my person got all excited when she saw a hummingbird sipping nectar from the scarlet runner beans that she planted. That was a little weird. I mean, she doesn’t get all excited when she sees me eating walnuts out of my dish. But there’s just no explaining people.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Summer Job

I’ve been enjoying the summer so far, chewing up books and popsicle sticks indoors when it’s raining, and going outdoors for walks in my carrier when the weather is nice. But, I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time to stretch a bit, and a summer job might not be a bad idea. After all, my talents are many. Here are some jobs I think I would be good at:

Office Paper Shredder – I can chew through all your discarded office paper and sensitive documents in no time at all, even including documents you hadn’t considered throwing away. And, unlike your shredding machine, I do it all without electricity. I am a “green” shredding machine in more ways than one.

Doorbell – I will sit by your front door and squawk at the top of my voice anytime anyone comes near it.

Housecleaner – If you give me a nice dish to bathe in, I will splash the water all around, even as high as the ceiling. Then all you have to do is take a dry rag and wipe and –voila!- your room is clean. Also, if you drop crumbs on the floor, I will gladly pick them up for you.

Dog/Cat Scarer – If you are having problems keeping your dog or cat off the furniture while you are out, I can sit in your living room and squawk anytime the dog or cat comes near. Believe me, it will stay far away.

If you know of anyone who is looking to hire someone for one of these positions, please have them contact me. Or if you know about any other kind of job I might be good at, let me know. Thanks!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How I've been spending my time

There's always something to chew!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Bird Food

Those outside birds have some interesting eating habits. It’s not all robins pulling up worms. There are also those hummingbirds sipping nectar from flowers. Then there’s the catbird that sits in the shrubbery eating berries. And the other day while my person and I were looking out the window, a blue jay swooped down and grabbed a bug right out of the grass in front of us. Hmmm, I don’t think that would taste very good. I think apples and cereal and pellets are much tastier. Later in the summer, the goldfinches will start eating seeds off the evening primrose plants. They’ll also probably start stealing seeds from the sunflowers in the garden, like they always do. That really makes me mad because those sunflowers are mine. My person grows them for me, so I can have seeds to eat in the winter. Well, I guess I don’t mind sharing a few sunflower seeds with those dumb finches, but just a few.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Listening to the Birds

I like sitting by the window and listening to the outside birds. They make all sorts of interesting sounds. Of course, there are those dumb robins who are up before dawn with their “cheerio cheerio,” and they keep on singing after dark, too. They just don’t know when to be quiet! There are lots of chickadees around with their cute little voices, “Hi, sweetie! Hi, sweetie!” Chickadees are nice because they don’t leave when the weather gets cold like lots of other birds, but stay around singing “Hi, sweetie” all winter, too. Then there is a phoebe living next door that complains all day long, “Fee bee, fee bee,” with its raspy voice. I still haven’t figured out what it’s complaining about. We also have a catbird that likes to sit on the clothesline post and mew. So there are lots of interesting bird noises outside, but none of those outside birds can say “pretty bird” or beep like a microwave oven or squawk as beautifully as a parrot.

Friday, June 3, 2011


My person and I have enjoyed watching the hummingbirds this spring, but we haven’t seen any humming around the feeder for most of this week. At first we were worried, then we started seeing them in the garden sipping nectar from the irises. I guess now that the flowers are blooming, they would rather eat in the garden. Probably nectar tastes better than the sugar water in the feeder, so I guess that makes sense. Personally, I would rather eat out of my feeder. I mean, it’s right there in my cage and it always has food in it, so whenever I feel hungry, I just go over there and start eating. It’s much more convenient than flying around a garden poking your beak in and out of flowers. I guess that’s why I’m a parrot and not a hummingbird.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I Need Some Advice

I just don’t know what to do about my person. Several times this week she went out and left me alone for most of the day. I know she has to go away for a whole day sometimes, but more than once in one week is a bit too much, don’t you think? And then when she gets home, she expects me to be all cute and cuddly and happy to see her. She acts like she doesn’t understand why I am giving her the cold shoulder. All she has to do is put herself in my position. I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if I went away and left her alone for the whole day. I don’t know what I can do to train her away from this behavior. If anyone has any advice, please let me know.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Rainy Day

There's nothing like a few good books to help pass the time on a rainy day. Hmmmm, which ones do you think will taste best?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A Visit to an Old Friend

I was hanging out on the kitchen counter this morning while my person was washing the dishes, so I decided to check in on my old friend, the toaster oven. I was hoping that it might have some toast for me, but when I looked through its window, everything was cold and dark. No matter how much I stared, no toast appeared. After a while I gave up and decided to climb up on top of the oven and chew up the piece of aluminum foil that usually hangs out up there. But, guess what? There wasn’t any foil up there. I walked all around the top of the oven and peeked into all the spaces behind it and next to it, but I couldn’t find the foil anywhere. I wonder where it could have gone. Hmmm. That kitchen is full of mysteries.

Friday, May 6, 2011


My person’s friend Judy recently acquired some ducklings. Like all baby birds, ducklings are very cute little creatures, but you have to admit they are a bit funny looking. In the first place, they sure aren’t going to be cracking open any seeds or nuts with those funny flat bills of theirs. And what about those webbed feet? I understand they’re useful for swimming, but what’s the point of that? I mean, I’m sure I enjoy water as much as any duck, but there’s certainly no need to go swimming around in it when you can easily have a nice bath just standing in a pan full of water or having someone spritz you. So, sure, those poor silly ducks can swim around a pond, but they’re never going to be able to climb trees or hold their food like a parrot with sensible feet. Judy is a very nice person and I have enjoyed sitting on her shoulder and squawking in her ear any number of times, so I have to wonder: Why did she get ducks when she could have gotten a parrot?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Cold Spring

We had a couple of warm days this week, and I went outside in my carrier to help my person mow the lawn. We did a great job, if I do say so myself. But now it’s rainy and wet again, so it’s back to inside chores, making nests and helping my person write. Also I have to keep an eye out the window for that fat woodchuck, and when it appears I squawk to scare it away. So, rain or shine, there’s always something to do around here. What about you? What do you do when it’s too cold and wet to go outside?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Spring Tasks

I know I’ve been neglecting my blog recently. I’ve just had so many things to do. Unfortunately, going out for walks in my carrier hasn’t been one of them. It’s been too cold and rainy these past couple of weeks. But now the weather is looking better and my person says that very soon she’ll be needing my help outside with the lawn mowing. I can’t wait! Mowing the lawn is my favorite outside chore. My job is to sit in my carrier and keep an eye out for predators while my person cuts the grass. Meanwhile, I’ve had plenty to keep me busy inside, helping my person with her work, and working on a few projects of my own. Nesting season is here and I’ve got a couple of nests going. One is on top of the printer and the other is on a small shelf. With two nesting sites, I’m pretty busy all day long chewing up old books, plastic bottle caps, and popsicle sticks. Unfortunately, my person often gets in one of those mean moods where she takes the vacuum cleaner to my nests and vacuums up all the bits and pieces I’ve worked so hard to chew. So then I’ve got to start all over again. People can get really moody sometimes, but you’ve got to love them anyway.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 14 years old now. Here I am with the presents that my aunt sent me - some cardboard boxes for me to chew! There's nothing I like better than having something to chew, so I sure had a happy birthday.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Happy Day!

Yesterday was the big day. I went outside for the first time this spring. When my person said, “Go for a walk,” I could hardly believe my ears. Did she say “Go for a walk” or “Go for a squawk?” But when I saw my carrier sitting in the kitchen, I knew the big moment had finally arrived. I hopped right into the carrier and waited while my person put on her jacket and zipped the carrier up. Then we went outside. I was so excited, I was shaking. How wonderful it was to feel the fresh outside air on my feathers and the warm sunshine on my beak! There were so many sounds to hear and so many things to see I just didn’t know what to pay attention to. My person and I went for a nice long walk and saw and heard many things. I can’t wait to go outside again. Unfortunately, today is cold and rainy so it looks like I’ll be staying inside for today. But now that spring is finally here, I can look forward to lots of outside activities—walks, mowing the lawn, gardening—I can’t wait!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Home Alone

Of course I really don’t like it when my person goes out a leaves me alone all day, but that doesn’t happen often. Usually she just goes out for a little while, and that gives me some time to hang out in my cage. The first thing I do is head over to my food dish since that’s always the most interesting part of my cage. After nibbling around there for a while, I sit on my perch and play with my toothbrush and key. I hold the toothbrush and bite the key. It’s really fun. After that, I might chew on a bottle cap or two, or a popsicle stick, and maybe I’ll pile up all my toys in my food dish. Then when I’m done playing, I like to just sit and listen. There are always interesting sounds around. In the winter, there’s the rumbling and whooshing of the furnace. In warmer weather, there’s the chirping and tweeting of the outside birds. And always there are cars rushing down the road, though when I big, loud truck comes by, I cower in the corner of my cage. While I’m listening to all these sounds, I always keep one ear alert for the sound of my person’s car in the driveway. Then when I hear the kitchen door open, I greet her with whoops and squawks. And then I’m not alone anymore.
What about you? What do you like to do when your person goes out?

Thursday, April 7, 2011


These days, I’ve been enjoying sitting on the windowsill and watching what’s going on outside. Besides seeing some dumb robins hopping around in the mud looking for worms, I’ve also been hearing all sorts of other outside birds chirping and singing. It’s very interesting listening to them, and I wish I could go outside and be with them. However, my person hasn’t opened the window yet, so it must still be too cold for me to go out. Anyhow, there isn’t much green outside. It’s mostly brown and there are still patches of snow. So I guess I’d rather stay inside where it’s nice and warm for now. It kind of makes me mad that those dumb robins are out there and I’m not, but on the other hand, at least I don’t have to go digging through cold wet mud to find my dinner.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


It’s been a very busy week. My person has been busy writing and I’ve been busy helping her. I’ve been spending many hours every day sitting on her shoulder while she writes. I’ve also been helping remodel the bathroom. I know, I know, that sounds strange after my previous post about how scary remodeling is, but a parrot can change her mind, can’t she? After I got used to the idea of remodeling, I got a little curious about it. Then one day, the big tall guy asked me to help him out with the drywall. So I sat on his shoulder while he worked on the drywall. It was really fun, so when he asked me if I would help him again the next day, I said “Yes!” Unfortunately, the first thing he did the next morning was carry a scary-looking ladder into the bathroom. Then he thinks I’m going to go in there with that predatory ladder sitting right in the middle of everything? No way! Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. So now I’m back to helping my person write. It’s not quite as interesting as drywall, but it is a lot safer.

Friday, March 18, 2011


Here’s something scary: remodeling. In case you don’t have any experience with remodeling, here’s how it works:
Every morning, a big tall guy comes to your house. He spends the day making all kinds of whirring, buzzing, pounding, and scraping noises. Sometimes the noises are outside, sometimes they’re inside, sometimes they’re in the basement, sometimes they’re in the bathroom. You never know what kind of noise will happen or where it will be. Also, there are all these strange things lying around the house, things like long cables and a monstrous vacuum cleaner, you know, predatory-looking things. Then at the end of the day when the guy leaves, there’s always something different in your house. For example, we had a bathtub, then there was this big space where the bathtub used to be, then suddenly one day the bathtub is back. Only now it’s bigger and shinier. No matter how much I stare at it, I can’t make it look like it used to. So I’m not sure why people are so interested in remodeling. Maybe they like noises and long scary cables and bathtubs changing their appearance, but it is all very unnerving for a little green parrot like me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Laundry Day

There’s nothing like laundry to brighten things up. Doing laundry is filled with delights every step of the way. First of all, there’s the washing machine with its fascinating rushing water and spinning sounds, and sometimes it even bumps and clunks. Then my person hangs the wet clothes up to dry. As soon as I see the drying rack standing so invitingly in the middle of the living room, I fly right to it, perch on the top bar, and squawk and whoop with joy. While my person is busy hanging the clothes, I am busy squawking and whooping, walking all over the clean wet clothes, and taking a few nibbles here and there. When the laundry is dry, my person folds it. I just loooooove folded laundry. There’s nothing like climbing up piles of folded laundry (and knocking a few of them down along the way), then settling down on top of one for a good chew. Doing laundry is definitely my favorite household chore.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Robin Sightings

I’ve heard that there have been a few robin sightings around town recently. Talk about dumb! How do they expect to find any worms to eat around here? The ground is still covered with snow. If I were ever foolish enough to fly thousands of miles south so I could be someplace warm and wormy while it’s cold up here, I would still be smart enough not to return until it really was spring. We could still have another blizzard or two. Believe me, I’m as anxious as any robin for spring to arrive. I’ve been dreaming about walks outside in my carrier all winter. But I’m sure not going to do anything dumb like go outside while it’s still cold and white out there. Uh uh. I’m staying inside, warm and cozy by my food dish.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

How to Train Your Person

Any parrot who lives with a person knows how important it is to keep your person trained. While most people love their parrots and want to keep them happy, sometimes they need a little help in understanding the best way to do this. Here are some tips for keeping your person well-trained:

- If your person is holding tasty-looking drink or snack, giving it your best beady-eyed parrot stare will usually convey the idea that you would like to have some, too. If this doesn’t work, a quick nip to the ear should do the trick. Be careful not too nip too hard, though, because that will just make your person mad and yelling might ensue. Of course, that will give you the opportunity to start squawking, so it’s not all bad.

- Sometimes a bite is called for. If, for example, your person hits a pin feather while petting you (and you know how painful that can be), a hard bite should get her to stop. Bite hard to keep your person away from anything you don’t want her to touch, such as your favorite toy or your mate.

- If your person should happen to sleep late some morning, a few loud squawks will let her know that it’s time to get up and pay attention to you.

- It’s a good idea to preen your person often. People enjoy this as much as parrots do, and it lets your person know that she is important to you. Stand on her head and preen her hair or sit on her shoulder and preen her face and neck. This will probably result in lots of petting and praises for you.

If you have any more tips for training people, let us know in the comments.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Snow (again!)

I know I’ve squawked about this before, but I’m squawking about it again. Haven’t we had enough snow for one winter? That white stuff just keeps pouring out of the sky, covering up everything on the ground that might be green. Then it slides off the roof in the most predatory way, and it always makes those snow monsters come out with all their pushing and scraping and blowing snow around. Snow is nothing but a big, cold, scary white thing. I can’t wait for it to go away. Isn’t it time for spring yet?

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Kitchen Friend

Do you have a bread machine in your kitchen? We do, and it’s quite a friendly and generous thing. Sometimes it gets in a talkative mood. It makes the most interesting mixing, scraping, and shaking sounds, and then it beeps. It beeps! I always beep along with it. Usually it gets quiet for a long time after that, then it beeps again and then delicious hot bread comes out of it. Isn’t that amazing? Beeps and bread are two of my very favorite things, so I’m sure glad we have a bread machine in our house. It’s a wonderful friend.

Monday, February 14, 2011


Here I am with the present my true love, Quentie, sent for Valentine's Day - a whole bowlful of plastic bottle caps, just for me. What a sweetheart Quentie is! He knows how much I love to chew plastic bottle caps. He really knows the way to this little green parrot's heart. Maybe because he's a little green parrot, too!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Alone Again

Well, my person did it again. Yesterday she was out ALL DAY and left me at home alone in my cage. I accept that she has to go out sometimes, but to go out and stay out all day is a bit much, don’t you think? It’s like she totally forgets about me at home all alone in my cage without any company. By the time she got home yesterday, it was dark. Then she comes in the house all “Pretty bird” and “Give me a kiss” and wanting to scratch my head, like everything’s fine and normal. I gave her the cold shoulder for a while, but then I couldn’t help myself and ended up snuggling up to her and asking for head scratches. People. They say that parrots always do just what they want and don’t like to obey, but we parrots can say the same thing about people. They never do what we want them to.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Can you believe it’s still winter? I thought it would be over by now, but the ground is still covered with all that white stuff and it’s too cold to go outside and my carrier is hanging sad and lonely in the basement wondering when it will be able to take me for a ride again. Of course, I am happy that I have a nice warm inside place to spend the winter and don’t have to eat out there in the cold with all the outside birds (although my person keeps THEIR feeder filled with sunflower seeds while I only get sunflower seeds sometimes for a treat – what’s that about?) and I don’t have to fly thousand of miles south to eat worms like the robins, but still, you’d think winter could be a little shorter. Then I hear that the groundhog didn’t see its shadow so winter will be short, or something like that, but why do people pay attention to a groundhog? A groundhog is nothing more than a fat old dumb woodchuck. We’ve got plenty of them around here and all they do is waddle around and eat up the garden. What do they know? Why listen to a woodchuck when you can listen to a parrot? I’ll give you some real information: It’s still winter!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Visitors, Tea, Scrabble

Don’t you just love it when visitors come to the house? I do because then I get lots of attention, and they feed me walnuts. Also, my person makes tea and I get to drink it right out of the tea cup. Yesterday my person and her visitor played Scrabble. It looked like an interesting game, particularly the tiles. I bet they would be really fun to chew. However, I was busy sipping tea and didn’t get a chance to try them out. Next time.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Cookies or Predators? You Decide.

This is what was on the kitchen counter this afternoon. This is where my person expected me to stand and pose for the camera. Is she kidding? As soon as I saw that scary plate of I-don't-know-what, I let out a loud squawk and flew right to the top of my person's head - the closest high point. I like to munch on cookies as much as the next parrot, but a wise parrot knows that first you have to make sure that they actually are cookies. So I'm not taking any chances. My person can call them what she wants, but a whole group of them bunched together like that looks suspiciously predatory to me.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Snow Monsters

One of the scary things about winter is that after every snowstorm, all these monsters come out. There’s this one monster that comes scrape-scrape-scraping up our driveway with its big yellow mouth pushing all the snow around. That sound always makes my feathers stand on end. My person bravely goes outside and gives the monster some money, and that usually makes it go away.

Then there’s the orange monster that lives in the garage across the street. As soon as I hear that rat-tat-tatting noise, I fly to the windowsill and, sure enough, I see that orange thing out there sucking up snow with its mouth and blowing it out its nose. What a disgusting thing to do! I puff up my feathers and give it my hardest beady-eyed parrot stare, just in case it ever thinks of coming and sucking things up over here, it’ll know that this house is protected by a fierce parrot. So far, I’ve managed to keep it away from us.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


It's always a good day when there's laundry.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Always Vigilant

My person still doesn’t get it about predators. Recently she’s been hanging out with a big bottle of glue. She picks it up, holds it for a while, puts it back down, picks it up again. . . . She keeps doing this. She doesn’t get how dangerous it is to be so close to predators, no matter how much I try to warn her. I nip her ear and bite the bottle, but that just makes her mad. Believe me, with her buddy-buddy attitude towards predators, she wouldn’t survive one minute in the jungle. It’s hard enough for me to keep her safe in the house.

Saturday, January 8, 2011


My person and I have been watching the outside birds at the feeder that my person put up for them. I'm sure glad MY feeder is inside. I wouldn't want to be eating out there where it's so cold. Plus, with all this snow we've been getting, it's all white out there. My beautiful green feathers would be really noticeable to predators. Those outside feeder birds don't seem to be afraid of predators. Of course, most of them - chickadees, titmice, nuthatches - have a lot of white feathers so they blend in with the landscape. Me, I'm a tropical bird. I prefer to spend my winters inside nibbling on walnuts and chewing up popsicle sticks. I'll go outside in my carrier when the weather gets warmer.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

tea time

Here I am enjoying afternoon tea with my person's new tea set that she got for Christmas. Yum!