Thursday, June 23, 2011

Summer Job

I’ve been enjoying the summer so far, chewing up books and popsicle sticks indoors when it’s raining, and going outdoors for walks in my carrier when the weather is nice. But, I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time to stretch a bit, and a summer job might not be a bad idea. After all, my talents are many. Here are some jobs I think I would be good at:

Office Paper Shredder – I can chew through all your discarded office paper and sensitive documents in no time at all, even including documents you hadn’t considered throwing away. And, unlike your shredding machine, I do it all without electricity. I am a “green” shredding machine in more ways than one.

Doorbell – I will sit by your front door and squawk at the top of my voice anytime anyone comes near it.

Housecleaner – If you give me a nice dish to bathe in, I will splash the water all around, even as high as the ceiling. Then all you have to do is take a dry rag and wipe and –voila!- your room is clean. Also, if you drop crumbs on the floor, I will gladly pick them up for you.

Dog/Cat Scarer – If you are having problems keeping your dog or cat off the furniture while you are out, I can sit in your living room and squawk anytime the dog or cat comes near. Believe me, it will stay far away.

If you know of anyone who is looking to hire someone for one of these positions, please have them contact me. Or if you know about any other kind of job I might be good at, let me know. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

Can you double as a mouse shredder?

Shadow said...

Hmmm, I'm not sure about mouse shredder. I do eat meat from time to time, but I've never done the actual shredding of it myself and I've never tried mouse. After all, I am neither a hawk nor a cat. What do you need shredded mice for?