Saturday, August 13, 2011


Here’s something I don’t get about people: They talk about the word “seedy” as if it meant something bad. To my way of thinking, there’s nothing better than finding a nice seedy berry in your food dish in the morning. In fact, one thing that makes summer so great is that there are lovely seedy berries in my food dish every day. I’m glad that at least MY person doesn’t have any prejudices against seediness.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Water Bottle

So the other day I was hanging out in my cage without anything particular to do, and feeling a bit peeved because my person was wandering around the house doing all sorts of fun-sounding things but not paying any attention to ME at all. So I was thinking about what I could do about that when my eye fell on my water bottle. OK, so I know I’m not the first parrot to think of this, but that doesn’t make it any less of a good idea. So I just kind of moseyed over to that side of the cage and gave that bottle a good heft with my beak and, just as I thought, it went clattering to the floor. And on top of that, it broke! What fun! Naturally that brought my person running into the room. She picked up the pieces of the broken bottle, but there the fun ended. She just threw the pieces in the trash and went back about her business. Bo-o-o-r-r-r-ing! But then a little while later she showed up with a new water bottle and started attaching it to my cage. This was a very different water bottle in every way-shape, color, everything was different. As a professional parrot, I can’t let any strange thing get near me without checking it out first for predatory potential. So I spent some time attacking the new water bottle. But then I realized that it was really a rather nice thing after all and that in fact I like it very much. I like it so much that I spend a good part of the day sitting lovingly next to it. Of course, I don’t want to let anybody or anything near it, so naturally I have to attack my person every morning when she tries to fill it with fresh water. “If you keep biting me,” she says, “you won’t get fresh water.” She totally doesn’t get it. It’s not about fresh water, it’s about protecting my territory rights. Sheesh! People can be so dumb sometimes.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

House Painting

Last winter it was remodeling, and now it’s house painting. At least the house painters leave all their scary, predatory-looking equipment outside. But they sure do make noise. Sometimes I’m sitting quietly in my cage just minding my own business (preening, chewing up popsicle sticks, holding my toothbrush, you know, parrot stuff) when I start hearing these strange noises—banging, scraping, swishing, clanging. And then sometimes a face will suddenly appear in the window. You better believe I start squawking when that happens. My person says they’re just painters scraping the old paint off the window frames or applying the new paint, but I don’t know, it sure seems like predatory behavior to me. I don’t know why my person is always letting all these predators hang around the house. It sure keeps me busy trying to protect us.