Friday, March 18, 2011


Here’s something scary: remodeling. In case you don’t have any experience with remodeling, here’s how it works:
Every morning, a big tall guy comes to your house. He spends the day making all kinds of whirring, buzzing, pounding, and scraping noises. Sometimes the noises are outside, sometimes they’re inside, sometimes they’re in the basement, sometimes they’re in the bathroom. You never know what kind of noise will happen or where it will be. Also, there are all these strange things lying around the house, things like long cables and a monstrous vacuum cleaner, you know, predatory-looking things. Then at the end of the day when the guy leaves, there’s always something different in your house. For example, we had a bathtub, then there was this big space where the bathtub used to be, then suddenly one day the bathtub is back. Only now it’s bigger and shinier. No matter how much I stare at it, I can’t make it look like it used to. So I’m not sure why people are so interested in remodeling. Maybe they like noises and long scary cables and bathtubs changing their appearance, but it is all very unnerving for a little green parrot like me.

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