So the other day I was hanging out in my cage without anything particular to do, and feeling a bit peeved because my person was wandering around the house doing all sorts of fun-sounding things but not paying any attention to ME at all. So I was thinking about what I could do about that when my eye fell on my water bottle. OK, so I know I’m not the first parrot to think of this, but that doesn’t make it any less of a good idea. So I just kind of moseyed over to that side of the cage and gave that bottle a good heft with my beak and, just as I thought, it went clattering to the floor. And on top of that, it broke! What fun! Naturally that brought my person running into the room. She picked up the pieces of the broken bottle, but there the fun ended. She just threw the pieces in the trash and went back about her business. Bo-o-o-r-r-r-ing! But then a little while later she showed up with a new water bottle and started attaching it to my cage. This was a very different water bottle in every way-shape, color, everything was different. As a professional parrot, I can’t let any strange thing get near me without checking it out first for predatory potential. So I spent some time attacking the new water bottle. But then I realized that it was really a rather nice thing after all and that in fact I like it very much. I like it so much that I spend a good part of the day sitting lovingly next to it. Of course, I don’t want to let anybody or anything near it, so naturally I have to attack my person every morning when she tries to fill it with fresh water. “If you keep biting me,” she says, “you won’t get fresh water.” She totally doesn’t get it. It’s not about fresh water, it’s about protecting my territory rights. Sheesh! People can be so dumb sometimes.