New Year's Resolutions

That scary white stuff is all over the place outside, but I'm safe and warm inside in my cage with my walnuts and seed treats. It's the last day of the year and time for my parrot new year's resolutions. For 2013, I resolve to squawk as much as I can and eat as many walnuts as I can and be as cute as I can, and I also resolve to welcome everyone who visits our house with lots of preening and I'll try not to squawk too loudly in their ears but I'm not making any guarantees because I am, after all, a parrot.

Talking and Squawking

We had a visitor over Thanksgiving -- Miss Duke, an African grey parrot, kind of like Trouble but a little bigger. She's quite the talker. And not only that, she rings like a telephone and beeps like an answering machine and then makes noises like a telephone conversation. My person thought it was very interesting and paid a lot of attention to Miss Duke and laughed and laughed when she talked. Hmmmmph! Well, I can beep like a microwave oven or a telephone, too! And I can say "Pretty bird" all day long if I want to. But my feeling is that just about anything else I might want to say is easily conveyed with a few loud squawks, so what's the point of using all those other words?

It's Winter

I woke up this morning to find a whole bunch of that scary white stuff all over the place outside. My person says it's just a dusting. Dusting or not, you won't see me going outside until everything is green again like my pretty feathers. And even then I might not go out much. I didn't go outside in my carrier a lot last summer. I mean, why do that when you have a nice cozy cage inside and food dish that's always full?

The Thankful Parrot

Well, it's that time of year again -- Thanksgiving -- and time for my annual thankful blog. This year, as always, I am thankful to be a parrot and not a turkey. I am thankful to have a comfortable cage and a food dish that always is filled with tasty things to eat. I am thankful for my daily seed treats. I am thankful to have a kind person who feeds me and pets me and gives me a seed treat every afternoon, even though sometimes she yells at me when I chew her things or bite her and even though sometimes she makes me stay in my cage when I don't want to be there and even though sometimes she goes out all day and leaves me alone at home and even though sometimes she uses that scary vacuum cleaner near my cage and even though sometimes she plays with predatory things like scissors that I have to protect her from, but I love her anyway.

Running with Scissors

My person has been playing with scissors a lot recently and it's really freaking me out. She doesn't seem to understand how predatory they are. Every time she picks up the scissors, I have to bite her ear and squawk at her to warn her that danger is near, but she doesn't get it. She just gets mad at me. Sheesh! I'm only trying to protect her. Then she just leaves the scissors lying there on the table, so I have to fly over and attack them. It sure takes a lot of work to protect my person from predators. I wish she would just put those mean scissors away for good.

A Parrot's Opinion

Sometimes in my capacity as a professional parrot I am asked to give my opinion on things pertaining to parrots. Recently, the Purina Company kindly sent me a bag of their new parrot food and asked me to write about it in my blog. They gave me the food, but the opinions expressed here are, as always, my own. We parrots may like to "parrot" things we hear, but I promise you my opinions are not "parroted" (in that sense of the term). Anyhow, I received a bag of Garden Recipe parrot food, for parrots and large conures (that's me!). I was very excited when I saw my person opening the bag as I knew it contained something tasty for me. I can recognize a bag of parrot food a mile away. I should explain that this is not the type of food I normally eat. My person feeds me pellets, fruit, and table food, so I am used to eating all kinds of people food, and I love it. But I am always up for checking out something new. I was excited to see what kind of new food the bag contained. It is a mixture of things, including pumpkin seeds, peanuts, dried fruit, dried corn, pellets, and things that look like Cheerios. And sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds! My absolute favorite thing in the world to eat. I set to work right away picking out the sunflower seeds and eating them. When I had finished them all, I kept picking through the rest of the pile looking for more sunflower seeds and was very disappointed not to find anymore. So I just flew up to my person's shoulder and sat there forlornly. After eating the sunflower seeds, the rest of the mix just didn't interest me. Now, I know my tastes aren't the same as other parrots'. If you are a parrot who likes dried fruit (I never touch the stuff), dried corn, or those things that look like Cheerios, you'll find plenty to interest you in the Garden Recipe mix. Personally, I like pellets and even enjoy the occasional pumpkin seed, but if there are sunflower seeds around, why would I eat anything else? My person says that's why she doesn't feed me this type of mix. You want my opinion? I think that's mean. I don't mind if all that other stuff is there as long as I get to eat the sunflower seeds. But my person says I can only have those as an occasional treat. Humph! So I guess I'll be sticking to my usual diet and will only be seeing the Garden Recipe at treat time. I'll look forward to that.

Autumn

The first week of October is almost over, so I guess it really is autumn. Around here, that means that the summer chewing frenzy is long over and we're now well into molting season. The bottom of my cage is covered with little down feathers, and my body is covered with lots of pin feathers (the new feathers growing in). It certainly is an itchy experience! However, my person gives me frequent baths, and that helps. Autumn means winter is just around the corner and soon we'll be settling into a cozy season of listening to the furnace rumble and roar (the poor furnace was sick again a few weeks ago and had to have some surgery, but it seems to be feeling much better now, thank goodness), eating wild berry jam on toast, and watching the snow fall. I sure hope all my down feathers will have grown back by then!

The Latest Parrot Poetry

Ode to a Sunflower Seed
by Shadow

If you feel you have a need
For something tasty on which to feed,
I recommend a sunflower seed.

This tiny morsel fulfills all wishes
For something that's not only delicious
But also filled with things nutritious.
Sunflower seed!

Parrot Wisdom

I've been around for a while now -- 15 years on my last hatchday -- and I think it's time I shared some of what I've learned over the years. So, for all you younger parrots out there, here are some bits of wisdom to help you through life:
-- Whenever your person goes away, she always comes back.
-- You can count on finding fresh food in your food dish every day.
-- If you want to let your person know that you need or want something, a few nips usually does the trick. But don't nip too hard or your person will get mad.
-- People like to be preened.
-- Don't bother looking behind the mirror for the other bird; there's nobody there.
-- If you squawk pathetically while your wings are being cut, your person probably won't make you go through that again.
-- The tastiest books are the ones your person doesn't want you to chew.
-- The walnuts are kept on the top shelf in the refrigerator.
-- Squawk often and loud.
 OK, I think I've covered the most important points. If anyone else has any bits of parrot wisdom to add, let us know in the comments.

Treat!

Don't you just love treats? I think "treat"is my absolute all time favorite word. Every time my person says it, I get so excited. I rush over to my food dish and wait for her to drop the tasty seed ball in. Then I grab it and start munching. Yum! It's so exciting to get a treat. I get one every day, but the excitement never goes away. Every time I get a treat feels like the first time, and every treat tastes just as good, if not better, than the last. Treat time is definitely the best time of day. Don't you agree?

Watching

OK, I seriously don't get this. My person got up early this morning and went out to meet a bunch of people in some park somewhere so she could walk around in the wet grass with them and watch. . . birds! Meanwhile, I -- that's me, a bird -- am sitting all alone at home in my cage. Huh? What's the matter that she can't stay home and watch me? I'm a bird. I wonder how she would feel if I got up early and left her alone in the house so I could go somewhere with a bunch of other birds to watch people. I bet she wouldn't like it at all. People. There's just no understanding them.

The Meaning of Life

Sometimes I just don't understand people. They sit around whining: "Why I am here?" "What's the meaning of life?" "What's it all about?" The answer is obvious. Ask any parrot. What's it all about? Chewing, of course. And the good thing is, there's so much of it to do. There are pencils to chew and chopsticks and popsicle sticks and old telephone books and old paperbacks that would be headed for the recycling bin if you weren't there to chew them. And when you've chewed you way through all those things, there's your person's collection of expensive colored drawing pencils, not to mention her stack of books that she hasn't read yet, as well as a house full of furniture (the antique pieces are especially tasty). So quit your whining and get chewing. I guarantee it'll help you feel a lot better.

Swamped

Squawk! I can't believe August is more than half over and I haven't posted even once this month. I am really sorry to disappoint my thousands of fans, I really am. It's just that my person has been keeping me so busy. She's been busy with work and entertaining guests, and of course I have to help her. I spend hours every day sitting on her shoulder while she works, then when she's in the kitchen cooking for guests, I have to wait for her in my cage and squawk every once in a while just so she knows I'm still here. Honestly, I don't know what she would do without my help. And then, of course, when I'm not doing those things, I'm busy shredding old telephone books. Well, somebody's got to do it. So you can see I've had more than enough to occupy my time. I hope to get back to blogging more regularly soon.

Good Morning!

Don't you just love morning? I wait in the darkness of my covered cage listening to the sounds of my person moving around the house, waiting, waiting for her to come into my room. When she finally does come in and pulls the cover off my cage, I squawk for joy. Then I squawk and squawk some more just to greet the morning. It's such a wonderful time of day -- I get fresh food in my food dish, I have a whole day of paper shredding to look forward to, not to mention my morning walk and maybe even a shower with the spray bottle, and who knows what other exciting things may happen during the day. The morning always holds so much promise. Yes, I am definitely a morning bird. I guess most birds are!

Back from Vacation

Well, I'm back from vacation, and I have to say it wasn't all that exciting. I went to Trouble's house. I spent the whole time lounging around in my cage and squawking at the TV. After a few days, my person arrived to pick me up and bring me back home. Finally! I don't know why people like vacations so much. I'm much happier now that I'm back at work -- chewing up books, squawking at the printer, and sitting on my person's shoulder. I sure hope I don't have to take another vacation again soon.

Happy Fourth

Happy 4th of July to those of you who enjoy his holiday. I don't much because all it means is that I have to spend the day alone in my cage while my person goes to the parade. But she'll probably leave me lots of treats, and also I have plenty of popsicle sticks to chew while I wait for her to return, so at least that's something. The other think about this holiday is that it's all about red, white and blue. What's the point of that? Now a holiday that's all about green, like my beautiful feathers, is something I could really celebrate.

Woodpecker

When we were out for our walk yesterday, my person and I came upon a woodpecker. It was pecking away on the trunk of a tree right next to the road. It was very friendly and didn't seem to mind at all when we stopped to watch it for a while. I really enjoyed the loud tap tap tapping noise it made. Of course the reason it was tapping away like that was because it was looking for insects to eat. That part doesn't sound so enjoyable to me. Although my food repertoire is quite broad, I don't think I need to add insects to it. Give me a sunflower seed any day. What I really admired about the woodpecker was its feet, very similar to mine, with two toes facing forwards and two facing backwards. With those feet, it could climb straight up the tree trunk the way I climb up my person's leg. A very talented bird. I hope we meet up again someday when I'm out for another walk.

My Friend the Paper Shredder

I was hanging out with the paper shredder the other day and we had a fine old time together. While it was busy shredding paper, I cheered it along with a chorus of squawks. That's always fun. The paper shredder and I have a good deal in common. For one, we both shred paper and for two, we both like to make noise. Although I have to say, the paper shredder is rather repetitive in its methods. When it shreds paper, every piece comes out the same shape, long and thin. And it always makes the same noise while it works -- whirr whine whirr whine. I, on the other hand, enjoy shredding paper into all kinds of shapes, some large, some small, and each one unique. I also toss them all over the place instead of letting them all fall neatly into a black box like the paper shredder does. Well,we each have our own way of doing things. That's what makes the world go round, right?

Singing and Squawking

I had an interesting experience with a thrush this afternoon. It was in the woods behind our house singing its thrush song, so I decided to see if I could strike up a conversation with it. I squawked, it sang its thrush song. I squawked again, it sang its thrush song again. I tried out all my best squawks, but I couldn't get it to squawk back. It just kept singing its silly thrush song. So then I tried my telephone and microwave beeps, and I even threw in a few "pretty birds", but still it just kept singing that thrush song. Hmph. I guess some birds only want to sing what they want to sing, unlike we parrots, who know the joy of imitating any sound that comes our way. So I don't know what the big deal about songbirds is. All they do is sing, whereas a parrot can sing, squawk, talk, beep, honk, and lots more, too.

Same old, same old

I really squawked when I realized how much of this month has gone by and I haven't blogged once! But there's really not much new to report. I am still busy in the parrot cave, shredding and shredding, and squawking at my person when she tries to clean up the results of my work. Lately she's taken to locking me in my cage while she cleans up the parrot cave. Oooooh, that is so frustrating! Believe me, I squawk as loudly as I can when she does that, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. She just sweeps all my work into the trash can anyway. Besides my work in the parrot cave, I've also been going outside in my carrier. That's fun because I get to squawk at the outside birds. I don't always feel like going outside, though. But my person doesn't always get it. Sometimes she tries to put me in my carrier anyway. Then I have to bite her because that's the only way I can get her to listen. I know I complain a lot about my person, but I really do love her. After all, she's the one who fills my food dish every morning.

Back in the Parrot Cave

I've been in a really chew-y mood recently, so I've been spending a lot of time in the parrot cave chewing my way through my collection of old books. It's really fun! I can create a huge pile of chewed-up page pieces in just a few hours. They pile up behind the printer and spill out onto my person's computer and also all over the floor. When I survey the results of my work at the end of the day, I really feel like I've accomplished something. But then my person comes along with that nasty vacuum cleaner and sucks it all away. No matter how hard I squawk (and I have to admit, I sometimes even bite), I can't get her to stop. She really needs some obedience training.

Printer

Do you have a printer in your house? We have one, and it's a very interesting creature. Most of the time it just sits there quietly, but every once in a while, without warning, it starts rumbling and shaking and whirring and pushing paper through. Like anything, it needs a few squawks to help it along, which I'm happy to provide. After the paper goes through, my person takes it away. I'm not sure what all this printer activity is about, but I enjoy it anyway.

Selfish

All right. That does it. My person is eating peanut M & Ms and won't share them with me. She says it's because parrots can't eat chocolate, but that just sounds like an excuse to me. What she really means is that she wants to eat them all herself. Meanie. OK, just wait till I get some walnuts. I'm going to eat them all myself and not give her even one little bite.

The Catbird Seat

That catbird's back in town. It's taken a seat somewhere near my window and I often hear it out there mewing and mewing. Is it trying to pretend it's a predator, or what? But despite the predatory sounds they make, I rather like catbirds. Lots of migratory birds are coming back to town and I look forward to talking with them as soon as it's warm enough to open the window. I won't be sitting in any catbird seat when I do that, though. I will take my usual parrot seat on the windowsill.

Rain, rain, go away

It's been nothing but clouds and rain and cold weather all week long. When, oh when will it warm up again so I can go outside in my carrier? Sigh. There's not much a little green parrot can do about it but chew a few popsicle sticks and wait patiently. On a brighter note, I experienced a new treat for breakfast this morning -- stewed rhubarb with yogurt and a little bit of cereal. It wasn't bad. Also my person and I have been eating lots of salads. I just love love love shredded carrots. Shredded red cabbage isn't bad either. So I guess behind every cloud there is a silver lining, or at least a tasty treat to eat.

Spring Chores

It's still warm outside and I went out in my carrier again this morning but not for a walk. This time I was helping my person mow the lawn. While she pushes the lawn mower back and forth, I keep an eye out for predators. Helping with the lawn mowing is my main outside chore, though sometimes I help out with the gardening, too. I sit in my carrier and watch for predators while my person plants, weeds, and waters, though often she just does that by herself and doesn't let me help. That makes me a bit nervous because I don't like to think of her out there alone with all those predators around. The one chore I refuse to help out with is weed whacking. I don't like the sound of that weed whacker at all! However, I bet the predators don't like it either so I don't mind letting my person go outside alone for that chore.

At Last!

It certainly isn't chilly today. In fact, it is quite warm, and guess what? I went outside in my carrier! It was so exciting. There was so much to see outside, I didn't know what to look at, so I just kept looking around at everything -- at the sky and the clouds, the trees and bushes, the road with the cars rushing by, all the outside birds, everything! The brook was rushing over the rocks and the birds were singing and it was all wonderful. My person says it will probably get cold again, at least for a little while. I sure hope it doesn't because I want to go outside in my carrier everyday. It's almost as good as eating walnuts. Almost.

Sounds of Early Spring

Things outside are looking greener everyday though it's still a bit chilly for me to go outside. However, I can enjoy it from the comfort of my windowsill. Some of the outside birds are returning from their winter vacation. Sometimes a phoebe sits on the clothesline post. Poor thing with its dull brown feathers, nothing at all like beautiful brilliant and colorful parrot feathers. But it does have an interesting screech. I like to listen to it call "Phoebe! Phoebe!" with its raspy voice. And I like to listen to the Canada geese when they fly over head, "Honk! Honk!" The outside birds make some very interesting sounds, though of course none of them can squawk as beautifully as a parrot.

Birthday Party

Today was my birthday party. Fifteen years ago I hatched out of my egg. So I guess it was really a hatchday party. Anyway, It was really fun. My person baked a cake with walnuts in it and the guests brought me presents, and guess what the presents were. Walnuts! And when everyone sang "Happy Birthday to You" (It really should have been Happy Hatchday to You), I squawked right along in my very loudest voice. Everyone paid attention to me and it was all about me. It was so much fun. Also, it was my friend April's birthday yesterday, but her birthday party is tomorrow. That's April with me in the picture.

Carrier Dreams

I've been spending a lot of time recently sitting on the windowsill looking out the window. Sometimes I watch the outside birds at the feeder, but most of the time I scan the landscape checking for predators and other interesting things. The snow's all gone but it's still not warm enough to go outside in my carrier. I know that because the other day my person opened the window while I was sitting on the sill, and that blast of cold air sure was surprising! Sigh. One of these days soon it'll be warm enough for me to go outside and be part of the landscape(in my carrier, of course). I can't wait.

Confused

I know I've gotten really behind on my blogging recently. Part of the problem is my confusion about keyboard. On the one hand, I need to use it to write my blog posts, but on the other hand, those keys just look so luscious and chewable. So I stare at the keyboard thinking, "Write or chew? Write or chew?" In fact, the other day while my person was out of the room for a few minutes, I chewed two keys right off the keyboard. Yummy! They sure tasted good, though my person didn't seem to be too happy about it when she came back and saw what I had done. But what did she think I was going to do all alone with rows of keys saying "Chew me! Chew me!" Who could resist that?

Parrot Cave

Contrary to what you may think, bears aren't the only animals that spend the winter in caves. Here I am in my parrot cave, busily chewing away. You can see that I have quite a stack of books to chew through, not the least of which is the Central Vermont and New Hampshire phone book (2011). I guess I have enough to keep me busy until it's warm enough to go outside for walks in my carrier. Probably that'll be about the same time as the bears emerge.

Love Bird

My sweetheart Quentie did it again! He sent me the best Valentine ever--a huge pile of plastic bottle caps! Quentie knows how much I love chewing them. He also sent a beautiful card, which I'll enjoy chewing up after I've finished with the bottle caps. Quentie really knows the way to my little birdie heart. I sure miss him.

Cozy Winter Morning

Don't you just love a cozy winter morning? Sitting near the heater and letting the warm air whoosh up through my feathers, listening to the furnace rumble and the washing machine swishing..it's so pleasant and relaxing. I could just sit there all day with my feathers fluffed up, enjoying the warmth and the sounds. Except then my person puts walnuts in my food dish, so I have to scramble back up to my cage to eat them. And then there are books to be chewed up and predators to squawk at. There's always something that needs to be done. Still, it's nice to start the day in such a cozy way by the heater.

Away for the Weekend

My person and I went away last weekend. My person went to Boston and I went to Trouble's house. I don't know what Boston's like but I'm wondering if it's one of those places where you sit in your cage all day in a place that's not your own house and just look out the window and wonder when your person is going to come back and get you. Because that's what it's like at Trouble's house. At least I get grapes when I'm there, so that's something. I wonder if there are grapes in Boston. Hmmm. Maybe next time, I'll go to Boston and my person will go to Trouble's house. That seems fair, doesn't it?

Snow Falling Off Roofs

We haven't had much snow so far this winter, but the snow that has been here has been very impolite. First, there was that snow that showed up in October uninvited. Then this week's snow spent all day yesterday sliding off the roof. And it's not enough for it just to slide, but it has to land on the ground with a loud "Whump!" It's so unnerving for a little green parrot like me, who always has to keep an eye out for potential predators. I had to spend much of the afternoon hiding in my person's shirt. Sometimes it's so hard being a prey animal!

The Parrot Contemplates Winter

Wintry snow, sleet, and ice
Are not very nice

But I'm safe and warm
And protected from harm

Whatever the weather's
'Cause I'm covered with feathers.