Obedience

I've posted this request before, but I need to ask again: Does anyone have any tips for training my person? Sometimes it's just so hard to get her to listen, no matter how loudly I squawk. So the other day after she was poking around my cage with the vacuum cleaner, as if that wasn't bad enough, she took my cage off its shelf, then shook out the cloth that covers the shelf. So of course when she tried to put the cloth back I had to walk all around it and chew and poke just to make sure everything was all right. She kept telling me to get out of the way so she could put everything back straight.  She said, "It's just a cloth." Just a cloth! I can't seem to make her understand that once she puts something close to my cage, next to it or underneath it, then it becomes my territory, and I am bound by the parrot code to do everything possible to protect my territory. And that vacuum cleaner! I don't know why she can't keep that nasty roaring thing in the closet where it belongs, or better yet, get it out of the house entirely. But every time I try to suggest this, she just tells me to stop squawking and biting. Sheesh! So if anyone can help me out with any person training tips, I would really appreciate it.

Happy Hatch Day to Me!!

My hatch day is coming up very soon and today I received the most wonderful hatch day gift from my person's aunt. Does that make her my aunt too? Or my great aunt? Whatever, she certainly is a great aunt! She knows about my telephone book shredding talents, so she sent me the perfect gift -- a telephone book to shred! I know this is a telephone book I will really enjoy shredding. By the way, in case you are wondering, I am about to turn 16. That makes me a very wise and experienced parrot indeed.

Parrot Poetry: The Birds of Spring

The Birds of Spring
by Shadow

The chickadee goes chi-chi-chi,
The robin goes chirrup,
But no bird sings as beautifully
As a parrot with its squawk.

Caw and quack and tweet and chirp
Is how the other birds talk,
But no bird sounds as lov-e-ly
As a parrot with its squawk.

Telephones

Do you have telephones in your house? We do, and I think they're just wonderful. First of all, whenever one gets dialed, it makes the most interesting beeping noises, and I beep right along with them. Also, my person talks to the telephone frequently, and I just love the sound of her voice when she does that. I snuggle up under her chin and chirp and coo while she talks. Last night while we were
doing this, the telephone started talking to me! It said, "Hi, Shadow. Pretty bird. Pretty bird." So I said "Pretty bird" right back to it! Then I noticed the buttons on the phone and reached out my beak to chew one, but before I could get even one bite, my person moved the phone away. Then she put me in my cage. Hmmmph! I keep thinking about all those delicious buttons just waiting to be chewed. One day I'll find a way to get my beak on them. You'll see. Anyhow, I just love telephones and I think every house should have at least one.

Table Manners

OK, that gray parrot, Trouble, may know how to talk, but she doesn't know how to eat right. She has no table manners at all. My person let her come to the breakfast table the other day and what you think she did? She just stuck her beak in the cereal bowl and started flinging cereal all over the place. Me, I never fling. When I eat cereal, I let the crumbs drop to the floor, and when I am done nibbling on a piece, I let that drop to the floor, too, before I pick up another one. That's what floors are for. Duh.

Guest Blogger: Trouble

Shadow has kindly allowed me to write a guest post on her blog while I am staying at her house this week. As you can see from the photo, I am having a wonderful time here. For two nights in a row, Shadow's person has served me the most delicious dessert -- ice cream topped with whipped cream. Yummy! I just love sticking my beak into those soft mounds of whipped cream. The ice cream is pretty good, too. Actually, it's really frozen yogurt. It's made just down the road from here at Cobb Hill. My favorite flavor is peppermint chocolate chip (Shadow's person removes the chocolate chips from my servings). Actually, that's the only flavor I've had so far. But I wouldn't mind having it every night for a week. I hope I get to! So, my person can stay out of town as long as he wants. OK, I don't really mean that. I miss him, but eating Cobb Hill frozen yogurt kind of makes up for his absence.

New Business

Since I am a parrot of many talents, I've decided that I might as well put some of my talents to use, so I am starting my own small parrot business. Have you been wondering what to do with all those old telephone books you have lying around the house? Well, wonder no more. Just contact Shadow's Telephone Book Shredding Service. I will gladly come to your house and shred all the old telephone books you have lying around. Then you can use the pieces as packing material or compost filler or, and I recommend this the most, just let it fly all around your house. It looks really cool. I guarantee highly professional service. I am a skilled and experienced telephone book shredder, and you can see an example of my recent work in the photo.