The Latest Parrot Poetry

Ode to a Sunflower Seed
by Shadow

If you feel you have a need
For something tasty on which to feed,
I recommend a sunflower seed.

This tiny morsel fulfills all wishes
For something that's not only delicious
But also filled with things nutritious.
Sunflower seed!

Parrot Wisdom

I've been around for a while now -- 15 years on my last hatchday -- and I think it's time I shared some of what I've learned over the years. So, for all you younger parrots out there, here are some bits of wisdom to help you through life:
-- Whenever your person goes away, she always comes back.
-- You can count on finding fresh food in your food dish every day.
-- If you want to let your person know that you need or want something, a few nips usually does the trick. But don't nip too hard or your person will get mad.
-- People like to be preened.
-- Don't bother looking behind the mirror for the other bird; there's nobody there.
-- If you squawk pathetically while your wings are being cut, your person probably won't make you go through that again.
-- The tastiest books are the ones your person doesn't want you to chew.
-- The walnuts are kept on the top shelf in the refrigerator.
-- Squawk often and loud.
 OK, I think I've covered the most important points. If anyone else has any bits of parrot wisdom to add, let us know in the comments.

Treat!

Don't you just love treats? I think "treat"is my absolute all time favorite word. Every time my person says it, I get so excited. I rush over to my food dish and wait for her to drop the tasty seed ball in. Then I grab it and start munching. Yum! It's so exciting to get a treat. I get one every day, but the excitement never goes away. Every time I get a treat feels like the first time, and every treat tastes just as good, if not better, than the last. Treat time is definitely the best time of day. Don't you agree?

Watching

OK, I seriously don't get this. My person got up early this morning and went out to meet a bunch of people in some park somewhere so she could walk around in the wet grass with them and watch. . . birds! Meanwhile, I -- that's me, a bird -- am sitting all alone at home in my cage. Huh? What's the matter that she can't stay home and watch me? I'm a bird. I wonder how she would feel if I got up early and left her alone in the house so I could go somewhere with a bunch of other birds to watch people. I bet she wouldn't like it at all. People. There's just no understanding them.

The Meaning of Life

Sometimes I just don't understand people. They sit around whining: "Why I am here?" "What's the meaning of life?" "What's it all about?" The answer is obvious. Ask any parrot. What's it all about? Chewing, of course. And the good thing is, there's so much of it to do. There are pencils to chew and chopsticks and popsicle sticks and old telephone books and old paperbacks that would be headed for the recycling bin if you weren't there to chew them. And when you've chewed you way through all those things, there's your person's collection of expensive colored drawing pencils, not to mention her stack of books that she hasn't read yet, as well as a house full of furniture (the antique pieces are especially tasty). So quit your whining and get chewing. I guarantee it'll help you feel a lot better.

Swamped

Squawk! I can't believe August is more than half over and I haven't posted even once this month. I am really sorry to disappoint my thousands of fans, I really am. It's just that my person has been keeping me so busy. She's been busy with work and entertaining guests, and of course I have to help her. I spend hours every day sitting on her shoulder while she works, then when she's in the kitchen cooking for guests, I have to wait for her in my cage and squawk every once in a while just so she knows I'm still here. Honestly, I don't know what she would do without my help. And then, of course, when I'm not doing those things, I'm busy shredding old telephone books. Well, somebody's got to do it. So you can see I've had more than enough to occupy my time. I hope to get back to blogging more regularly soon.

Good Morning!

Don't you just love morning? I wait in the darkness of my covered cage listening to the sounds of my person moving around the house, waiting, waiting for her to come into my room. When she finally does come in and pulls the cover off my cage, I squawk for joy. Then I squawk and squawk some more just to greet the morning. It's such a wonderful time of day -- I get fresh food in my food dish, I have a whole day of paper shredding to look forward to, not to mention my morning walk and maybe even a shower with the spray bottle, and who knows what other exciting things may happen during the day. The morning always holds so much promise. Yes, I am definitely a morning bird. I guess most birds are!